Pain Scale

Day: Three Hundred and Twenty Three

These series of photos taken today represent my pain scale. I'd like to think my tolerance to pain is pretty high but I am sure if you punched me in the face I would proceed to cry like a baby. However, I have made a pain scale that only goes from 1 to 7 because I have yet to experience pain that goes past a 7 since there are many things I have not-and hope to never-feel.

PAIN is at 0:

Obviously I am not in pain. See how the smile reaches my eyes? Today is a good day for skipping rope and playing hopscotch.

PAIN is at a 1 or 2:

The smile faded from the eyes but I'm still in a good mood. I might have a paper cut or an annoying gas bubble in my chest.

PAIN is at a 3:

I'm most likely sore but a good sore because I must have worked a muscle group that hasn't been worked in awhile. Today sneezing induces sharp pains in my torso or I might be unusually stiff in my bad joints due to the weather. Regardless of the weakness I feel, I'll still go about my day as normal.

PAIN is at a 4:

Okay, I'm uncomfortable. I'm probably starting my period and my boobs feel like watermelons and every step I take is like a knife in my heart (though a knife in the heart will be higher on the pain scale for stuff I don't know about). My cramping is irritating so I go and run a few miles and although it hurts the boobies, it stops the cramps.

PAIN is at a 5:

Okay, today officially sucks. I'm in a lot of pain. I fell down the stairs and have a huge bruise on my tailbone so when I sit it hurts, when I talk it hurts, when I pooh it hurts. I might also have eaten buffalo wings that were a tad too hot for me too. I think I may have strep and a fever and what is that sound? Oh that's me whining.

PAIN is at a 6:

Holy shit I've just been shot! Oh wait a minute...the pain is gone...oh right that's just my sciatica from the herniated disc in my back that is laying on the nerve to my left leg. Though short lived, the pain takes your breath away for a few seconds. But also at a 6 includes pouring hydrogen peroxide in a cut, being pushed through a glass door, falling off my bike, getting hit with a man's slap shot, crashing into a boulder while skiing in the woods, and anything else that is stupid that I have done that landed me in the hospital, like slamming my thumb in the car door.

PAIN is at a 7:

This is unbearable. I need to go home. I want to die.

This is pain that has not gone away all day or daySSSS, or weeks or for a year. My GI issues can get to this point. When I'm crying, I'm at a 7.

PAIN is at an 8:

I've broken a foot and toes before but never anything significant like an arm or a leg or a rib. 8 is definitely for bones that can be clearly seen sticking out of the skin. 8 is also reserved for anything that is shown on Tosh.0 that the audience says, "OOOOOHHHHHH!" for.

PAIN is at a 9:

Dismemberment. I can't imagine the pain one must feel upon losing a limb. I am sure the aftereffects of losing an appendage is also hard to come to terms with as well as the phantom pain they experience.

Some types of torture would be here as well. You may use your imagination to think of the gruesome details but I do not have the stomach for it.

PAIN is at a 10:

I'm on fire. This has to be the worst pain imaginable. Nothing can be worse than any kind of burn. I never want to be on fire or have acid thrown on me either. I never want anyone to be on fire. Even when stuntmen are on fire I don't like it. Fire is just scary.