Hidan

Day: Three Hundred and Thirty Three

Photo taken on Thursday, June 30, 2011 in the upstairs hallway at 803pm.

Whenever I spot a hair that isn't quite brown or blonde, I call Steve in to examine it:

"Is it gray or white?"

"Hmmmmmm......I think its gray."

"Dammit!"

I want to go white. Not gray. All white. I think all white hair looks awesome in a bob and I hope when my time comes, my hair decides on white not gray.

So for practice today, I throw my picture into Photoshop and use the burn tool to lighten up my locks. Too bad that I end up looking like an immortal, deranged killer in an anime rather than the cool hipster grandma I hope to be like.

Rock Lee

Day: Three Hundred and Thirty

Photo taken on Monday, June 27, 2011 in the bedroom at 903pm.

You know those character quizzes that you take sometimes? The ones about your favorite TV show like, Which doctor are you on Srubs? (I got J.D. on that one though Heather thinks I'm more like Turk which is cool too, better than being Todd) Well, Steve and I like to play the geekier version of that when we're lying in bed and I am supposed to be sleeping. I'll turnover and ask him, "Who do you think I am in Fullmetal?" and I'll bug him until he answers me. The other night I choose Naruto-since there are a million and one characters in that manga-so I figure this will be fun...until Steve opens his mouth.

"You have Shikamaru qualities but you're not smart enough to be him. You have that aloofness of Kakashi at times but you are not as cool as him..." his voice trails off as I start to get a bit ticked off at his assessment and go to say something to stop him from calling me as useless as Sakura next but he continues anyway:

"You're Rock Lee."

"Rock Lee?" I ask, completely surprised by this. "But Rock Lee only knows Taijutsu! He's not as qualified as all the other ninjas!" Now I start to get ticked off again. Steve sits up in order to address this before it escalates out of control.

"Yeah, hear me out," he says, going into analytical mode. Steve launches into a speech-that sounds very well prepared-on why I am most like Rock Lee: He is different than everyone else in that he lacks the ability to perform "magical ninja powers" of illusions and special effects attacks so he can only use physical attacks. Because of this, Rock Lee trains harder, never gives up, and pushes himself to the extreme. He is genuine, holds fast to his beliefs, and shows fierce loyalty to those he loves. When Rock Lee gets knocked down, he gets up, and keeps going despite the odds being against him. He may be lacking in some areas but he makes up for it by having so much heart to be the best damn ninja he can be.

Plus he's a total lightweight when it comes to drinking.

When Steve finishes his speech I turn quiet, letting it all sink in. I think about all my qualities as a human being. I think about how hard I push myself even though success seems unreachable. I think about my determination, how I love others, my dedication to living life to the fullest. I think about those two IPAs that give me a real great buzz this weekend.

"Holy crap," I whisper. "I'm Rock Lee."

Pain Scale

Day: Three Hundred and Twenty Three

These series of photos taken today represent my pain scale. I'd like to think my tolerance to pain is pretty high but I am sure if you punched me in the face I would proceed to cry like a baby. However, I have made a pain scale that only goes from 1 to 7 because I have yet to experience pain that goes past a 7 since there are many things I have not-and hope to never-feel.

PAIN is at 0:

Obviously I am not in pain. See how the smile reaches my eyes? Today is a good day for skipping rope and playing hopscotch.

PAIN is at a 1 or 2:

The smile faded from the eyes but I'm still in a good mood. I might have a paper cut or an annoying gas bubble in my chest.

PAIN is at a 3:

I'm most likely sore but a good sore because I must have worked a muscle group that hasn't been worked in awhile. Today sneezing induces sharp pains in my torso or I might be unusually stiff in my bad joints due to the weather. Regardless of the weakness I feel, I'll still go about my day as normal.

PAIN is at a 4:

Okay, I'm uncomfortable. I'm probably starting my period and my boobs feel like watermelons and every step I take is like a knife in my heart (though a knife in the heart will be higher on the pain scale for stuff I don't know about). My cramping is irritating so I go and run a few miles and although it hurts the boobies, it stops the cramps.

PAIN is at a 5:

Okay, today officially sucks. I'm in a lot of pain. I fell down the stairs and have a huge bruise on my tailbone so when I sit it hurts, when I talk it hurts, when I pooh it hurts. I might also have eaten buffalo wings that were a tad too hot for me too. I think I may have strep and a fever and what is that sound? Oh that's me whining.

PAIN is at a 6:

Holy shit I've just been shot! Oh wait a minute...the pain is gone...oh right that's just my sciatica from the herniated disc in my back that is laying on the nerve to my left leg. Though short lived, the pain takes your breath away for a few seconds. But also at a 6 includes pouring hydrogen peroxide in a cut, being pushed through a glass door, falling off my bike, getting hit with a man's slap shot, crashing into a boulder while skiing in the woods, and anything else that is stupid that I have done that landed me in the hospital, like slamming my thumb in the car door.

PAIN is at a 7:

This is unbearable. I need to go home. I want to die.

This is pain that has not gone away all day or daySSSS, or weeks or for a year. My GI issues can get to this point. When I'm crying, I'm at a 7.

PAIN is at an 8:

I've broken a foot and toes before but never anything significant like an arm or a leg or a rib. 8 is definitely for bones that can be clearly seen sticking out of the skin. 8 is also reserved for anything that is shown on Tosh.0 that the audience says, "OOOOOHHHHHH!" for.

PAIN is at a 9:

Dismemberment. I can't imagine the pain one must feel upon losing a limb. I am sure the aftereffects of losing an appendage is also hard to come to terms with as well as the phantom pain they experience.

Some types of torture would be here as well. You may use your imagination to think of the gruesome details but I do not have the stomach for it.

PAIN is at a 10:

I'm on fire. This has to be the worst pain imaginable. Nothing can be worse than any kind of burn. I never want to be on fire or have acid thrown on me either. I never want anyone to be on fire. Even when stuntmen are on fire I don't like it. Fire is just scary.

"We're on a bridge!"

Day: Three Hundred and Twenty

Photo taken on Friday, June 17, 2011 in the Time Out Room that magically changed at 949pm.

While out shopping with Steve, we come across this tee shirt in Hot Topic and I immediately start giggling about it. Back on October 26, 2009 I posted the video that corresponds with this shirt so I will not bore you with details here but I urge you to go there and watch the video. Kind of like what I forced all my coworkers to do today when they asked me what this shirt meant.

Morgan

Day: Three Hundred and Five

Photo taken on Thursday, June 2, 2011 in front of the upstairs bathroom door at 1132pm.

If you've noticed the updates being posted extremely late it is because I have been Netflixing again. I am very easily sucked into the convenience of the instant queue and have a habit of wanting to do nothing else but finish a television series once we start. The culprit at the moment?

Dexter.

Valerie let me borrow Season 1 over a year ago and I returned it to her without watching it because I feared the concept would keep me up at night. But Steve watched a few episodes and reported back to me that it is not gory at all. I finally give the pilot episode a try and find it to be like CSI only with an occasional boob and a frequent f-bomb from Dexter's sister. I apologize for the delay in updates but if you watch this show you understand it's good enough to neglect your responsibilities and not feel guilty about doing so.

Simply Meant To Be

Day: Two Hundred and Seventy Six

Photo taken on Wednesday, May 4, 2011 in the Time Out Room at 928pm.

This happens by accident and when I go to "undo" it, I stop.

I actually like it.

Despite the rough cut, the border getting into the picture, and not being what I had intended...it fits. It feels right. It's definitely us. All I want to do is shrink our outlines, smooth the edges, and plaster us over the last scene in Nightmare Before Christmas but I make a wrong turn and end up with this and that's okay. It is easily fixable and I have the time to play around more but I like the way the image lays inside of us. My eye is drawn to the curve of the hill and I think it's funny that we try to copy the silhouettes but do opposite handholding without even thinking about it.

Steve reintroduced me to Nightmare when we started hanging out back in our Genesis days and "Sally's Song" defined what I had been going through as his friend (that and Gavin Degraw's "Nice to Meet You Anyway" but Steve finds that song sadder than this one and also he doesn't like the fact that Degraw rhymes "special" with "special"). Obviously we worked through all the obstacles because we're together but back then, I really didn't know how long I would have to wait.

And honestly, I would have waited forever.

That is, unless he married someone else, then I would have taken a hint.

Jiraiya

Day: Two Hundred and Thirty Four

Photo taken on Wednesday, March 23, 2011 in the Time Out Room at 831pm.

I wanted to do this picture last night but I held off in honor of a new chapter of Naruto being released today. Turns out, it isn't out today but something just as amazing has been dropped:

The 6th episode of Naruto: The Abridged Comedy Fandub Spoof Series Show
(or what I like to call: Naruto On A Bridge: A Parody of a Parody)

I stumble upon this wonderful joke series on accident one day and I just absolutely fall in love with it (and the creator, Ninjabridge, who is really Little Kuriboh from the Yu-Gi-Oh! Abridged fame). You might have heard Steve and I throw our voices around with random sayings like, "PET CEMENTARY NO JUTSU!" and wished we hadn't done that in public. You should definitely give it a try even if you haven't seen the anime, it is still very silly:

Pity Party

Day: Two Hundred and Sixteen

Photo taken on Saturday, March 5, 2011 in Great Neck, NY at 1114pm.

I'm feeling a bit negative today.

My original plan for this weekend was to do my first ever 25k. Moma, Kim, and Pres even come up this weekend despite the fact I'm not going to be able to run it tomorrow morning. Because of my digestive system breaking down, I haven't been able to run or pretty much do anything athletic for the past month. My training took a nosedive into nowheresville and I gained a ton of weight (even though I did not consume half of what I normally eat) just for me to learn there is nothing physically wrong with me. The colonoscopy, CAT Scan, and Small Bowel Study are all clear which is definitely great. Turns out, it's just all stress.

You know what relieves my stress?

Running.

You see my dilemma?

Besides being in pain everyday, I can no longer fit into my wardrobe because I am so bloated. And because of the pain, running hurts. Hell, even sitting hurts. I think I have finally gotten to the point where I'm about to go all Nancy Kerrigan "Why me?!" on everybody because I think I already have enough ailments to last a lifetime: Chondromalacia Patella starting at 13, Snapping Hip Syndrome appearing on vacation at 15, herniated disc in my lower back popping up during hockey at 19, arthritis in my lower back flaring up on the hockey bench at 20, an acting up left shoulder since tearing it during hockey practice at 19, bum right foot ever since breaking it before my wedding, and now this. I already live with my physical pain everyday since middle school to the point I'm so used to it that when the sciatica occurs and shoots from my back to my left knee, I barely even wince.

I seriously don't mind being broken with my old ailments because it helps build character and I have not let it slow me down in the least but this new problem is seriously kicking my ass. It is totally defeating me. Sometimes I just lie awake at night and silently cry, the cramping keeping me from a decent night's rest. Some days I push on, go to Zumba even though I want to vomit from the pain, hang out with friends even though I want to curl into a ball and wail, and eventually I free myself from the anguish. But then there are days like this, when my body is so exhausted it's screaming at me but there's nothing I can do to stop what is happening. I have no idea how to relieve the stress without being physical.

I know I should just suck it up. I know there are so many people out there that have it much worse. I know I should never feel sorry for myself because I have a very good life. But today I don't have the energy to be positive and I think it's okay that once and awhile, I let myself crumble into a pile of "woe is me".

RRRRRRR!

Day: One Hundred and Ninety Nine

Photo taken on Wednesday, February 16, 2011 in the bathroom (that happened to transform into the deck of the Black Pearl) at 908pm.

You can't see it in this picture therefore I decided to get silly with it instead, but I have a reddish goatee. I think my skin has become accustomed to the waxing by now but years ago I could only wax at night because it took 8 hours for the redness to disappear. I would walk around the apartment calling myself the Red Pirate. I think Angry Pirate sounds better but it has a dirty double meaning so I have settled for "Red".

141 vs 162

Day: One Hundred and Ninety Four

Photo taken on Friday, February 11, in the Time Out Room at 858pm.

The Imaginary Weapons Game continues but this time I have found a loophole to counterattack a certain move. The Chidori is a lightening chakra jutsu from Naruto done only by Kakashi and (unfortunately) Sasuke. Usually when one person does a successful attack, the other person admits defeat but as I am watching Avatar: The Last Airbender series, an idea dawns on me. If Uncle Iroh can redirect Azula's lightening attack through one hand, into his belly, and out the other way, why can't I? I'm in touch with my Chi. I can do this.

But Steve doesn't favor the Chidori. Even Pher and Anna prefer the Rasengan but I am BURSTING with this new found information and want someone to Chidori me just so I can pull the move. I finally beg Steve to do the attack and he skeptically narrows his eyes at me, trying to figure out how I learned a counterattack. He refuses me and I tell him he has to Chidori me because this is just too good to hold inside anymore. He stands there quietly for a long time and I know he's running through every scenario in his head, every superhero, every Street Fighter game, every manga character we have encountered. He finally concedes, throwing a half-hearted Chidori my way. After I grab it and redirect it back into him he stands there, his face completely devoid of emotion.

I giddily jump around him exclaiming, "how awesome was that?!" I am so proud of myself at this moment that I even force him into giving me a high five.  He finally agrees that it is very well played and again I congratulate myself for thinking outside of the box.


And this is where all my above average IQ points have gone.

Schloopydoopies

Day: One Hundred and Ninety Three

Photo taken on Thursday, February 10, 2011 while dancing around the hallway with my iTouch (named Skull) at 918pm.

Kim hates my other iPod, the one Steve purchased for me back when I left Genesis in November 2006 (so my commute could be bearable with music). I think she should write a BLOG entry about all the different comments she has made towards it because they're hilarious.

The iPod is one of the first video ones released so it's as big as a VHS tape and if you watched a video on it, it would run out of batteries within five minutes. Granted it is extremely outdated therefore keeping the background light on drains it so I tend to use it only in the car when it is constantly plugged in. Since it's a video one, it holds like 20,000 songs, not that I have 20,000 songs but the possibilities are endless (I have 2,151 songs). Even though I have a replacement, I still use that clunker because when I drop it, I really don't care and it still works... until I walk two blocks out of the subway station because the cold weather makes the battery freeze.

Tobi

Day: One Hundred and Eighty Seven

Photo taken on Friday, February 4, 2011 in Sai while driving east on Northern Blvd at 634pm.

I have Benign Positional Vertigo (BPV) which is pretty common but very annoying. It sucks because I grew up being the type of kid that followed along with whatever fearless tricks her brothers were up to: get air off that ten foot cliff on the mountain? Sure. Jump off the high part of the deck and into the 4 foot pool when mom goes back inside? Done. Do that bungee swing thing at Six Flags? Piece of cake.

But now? Now the slightest bit of motion can send me into a two week nausea-fest. Now I come with a set of rules, Dramamine, and Sea Bands. I no longer can ride the roller coasters that do corkscrews unless of course I'm in the front row and my eyes are shut; so where's the fun in that? I can't do somersaults off of diving boards anymore (but I can still do a mean Can Opener). I can't spin around more than once so I have to improvise in Zumba on occasion. And boats...well I might as well forget about that Alaskan dream cruise.

I have learned to adjust to my older body but sometimes it is hard to avoid everything that makes me sick. Tonight I just make the train to Great Neck by a few seconds but unfortunately I can't sit backwards anymore. Since there are no facing forward seats I opt to stand which usually doesn't affect me but BPV reared its ugly head by the time I hit Bayside. I feel bad I had to cancel on the twins again but I would have been no fun tonight. They would have beaten me in air hockey quicker than they normally do!

Multiplicity

Day: One Hundred and Eighty Six

Photo taken on Thursday, February 3, 2011 in my office at 423pm.

I am obsessed with the idea of having a clone, though I wouldn't want a real clone because then I would have to feed her and she would use up all of my toiletries and those CVS trips can get expensive. I would prefer a shadow clone which is a temporary one that you create for a certain amount of time and then they vanish when you will them to or if you violently punch them. The cool thing about shadow clones is that when they "pop" out of existence, everything they said, encountered, or accomplished immediately floods your mind and you retain any knowledge they learned while they were hanging around.

If I had a shadow clone I would totally utilize her for work purposes and we would be a phenomenal team because she would have my work ethic. She wouldn't complain if I asked her to do something because she would know I felt guilty asking her in the first place. She would also get my lame jokes (and maybe make a few of her own)! I would definitely call her something cool like MacGuyver or Pumpkin. Then later, she would accompany me on my rush hour train so no one could sit near me in Jamaica. When the conductor comes around for tickets I'd just poke her in the ribs and enjoy the two-seater to myself.

Aang

Day: One Hundred and Eighty Two

Photo taken on Sunday, January 30, 2011 in the bathroom at 702pm. (It is perfectly okay to laugh at my awful attempt at making myself bald. I must STRESS I went to school for copywriting not art direction, though one could argue the writing skills as well. Should I get my money back?)

I highly recommend Avatar: The Last Airbender (the series not the movie since I have not seen that yet) to anyone, especially adults. The first half of Book One is a little silly and slow to get momentum going but when it picks up it will suck you in, trust me. The story is rich with wisdom and the valuable lessons it teaches the viewers are ones we might have forgotten through the years.

One of the episodes that really speaks to me today centers around Uncle Iroh (Steve's favorite character). He spends the entire 23 minutes walking around the city of Ba Sing Se helping others in need with a smile on his face only for us to learn that this is a very hard day for him. At the end he is honoring his son that he lost in battle.

I find myself wanting to be more like Uncle Iroh every day. No matter how hard of a time he is enduring, it did not stop him from moving forward and projecting warmth on others instead of his sorrow. I hope that I can be more like him, pushing aside my negativity and focusing on the happiness that I can find in the present moment, even if it is a rough moment.

But most likely I'll just end up like Sokka (my favorite), the bumbly, sarcastic average joe.

"You've had a good first day of training."
"I have? But I thought I messed up every single thing we worked on."
"You messed things up in a very special way."

Supplies!

Day: One Hundred and Seventy Six

Photo taken on Monday, January 24, 2011 in the living room at 930pm.

Not only am I fan of Cal Lightman, I totally dig the title sequence to Lie To Me. It has a House feel to it, cool song as well as interesting lighting choices and camera angles. When recalling the opening, I see the images in hues of blue and yellow in my mind. My favorite expression is of the freckled-nosed little girl that shows surprise. When the music matches with the editing, her face should light up on a chord change but sometimes the DVR sets it off a tad.

I don't like surprises whether they're big or small, good or even fun, it just doesn't sit well with me. I like to know where I am going or what I am doing at all times. I am open to changes in plans just as long as you give me a heads up a few minutes beforehand (at the latest). That is why my bridal shower day had to be run by me first. Could you imagine? I would wake up around 7 to start preparing for a race that Saturday and Steve, in a panic, would try to convince me to go to a nice brunch. I would immediately suspect something because why would Steve be up this early on a Saturday? I would then demand to know what the meaning of this is and he would come up with a slick answer. He'd get me on the fence for the meal over going to the run until he told me that brunch would be in the city. Then I would know for sure something is amiss. There has to be some big-ass event in the city to get me to go there on the weekend so then I would figure it out. Then I would be pissed that Steve didn't tell me in the first place but then I would feel guilty for being pissed because my mom and bridesmaids did a nice thing for me.

Or I'd just ignore Steve at the beginning and leave for the race anyway.

So instead of a series of unfortunate events, they told me the date and place and I acted surprised when I walked into the lovely shower.

Kakashi-sensei-sama-sempai-san-KUN!

Day: One Hundred and Seventy Two

Photo taken on Thursday, January 20, 2011 in the medical records room at 410pm.

I want to cosplay as Hatake Kakashi one of these days. I've mentioned it about five hundred times now so I really should just go buy a grayish wig and his hitai-ate and shut up about it. But instead I insert myself into the wonderful world of Photoshop, burn a scar into my skin, and implant his Sharingan over one of my hazel greens quite painlessly. Of course it had to be the Mangekyou and after using it to (accidentally) transport my couch into another dimension, I'm bound to take a nap for the next several days.

Lie To Me, Love

Day: One Hundred and Seventy

Photo taken on Tuesday, January 18, 2011 in the dining room at 739pm.

I have finally hit the point in my self portrait project where it is time to start playing with the image. I have wanted to do this for awhile but I could not find my Photoshop 7 disk until today (for some reason it was residing in a pile of CDs to be burned into iTunes). Once I load the program onto Miles I begin to play around, changing the shape, distorting the image, just all around fun stuff until I hit a brick wall. I want to do an ode to Cal Lightman (since I'm a little bit in love with him...okay...A LOT a bit) but I have forgotten how to blur the background. Luckily, I have Mai, one of my hockey and advertising friends from college, just a text away. I pose the question and she calls me immediately, talking me through my different options. As we chat away about her awesome job in the creative industry, Steve tools around with the picture and by the end of the conversation he has accomplished the above effect. I owe Mai and Steve for my selfer today; thanks for helping me out! Great job guys! ^_\

I have been toying with this idea for awhile so it means a lot to me to finally get it out there. I think I really like Lie to Me because the one thing I don't really do is lie. I would be the worst person that Cal could interrogate. I like how he will phrase the same question ten different ways until the person bursts into tears and admits to killing their daughter. Though with me it would be like:

SHOW STARTS

"Did you burn those patients' charts? Didja? Didja set fire to the medical records room? Was it you? You burned all those files in that room, didn't you?"

"Yes."

"Did you-ah...oh."

CREDITS