Poop

Day: Three Hundred and Fifty Nine

Photo taken on Tuesday, July 26, 2011 at my desk in the Surge at 344pm.

This ticket I receive in the mail is Total. Utter. Bullshit.

When I'm on my way out for a run this past weekend, I notice a letter stuck to our door. Upon seeing it is for me my stomach bottoms out. Written across the envelope is one of those red light traffic violations and knowing I'm not stupid enough to gamble my life or others, I can't understand how I would run a red light. I tear open the letter to find such a ridiculous reason to give me a ticket. These bastards must be making a fucking fortune at this light!

Steve and I watch the video of Sai on the road and it makes me want to hurl Miles across the room when I see the evidence. I know exactly what day it is and I know exactly why I'm making this turn. It's June 18, the day of the twin's 21st Birthday Party and after doing an errand on the North Shore, I head south on Route 110 to make a right on 24. My last stop of the day will be Runner's Edge to get the boys gift certificates (and also my self-important 26.2 sticker for the back of Sai). Upon reaching the red light I immediately slow down to a crawl. I notice as I approach the white line that the people on 24 have a green turning arrow to go north on 110 so it makes perfect sense that I should have a green arrow to make a right on 24. But there is no arrow. The town has no freakin' common sense. So I do what any normal person would do in my situation: look at all traffic and make the turn when I see it's clear.

Problem is? It's sunny as fuck today so Sai creates a shadow. His shadow literally crrrrraaaawwwwlllsss past the white line into a turn. Now, if it was raining that day, it would look like a complete stop. The moron designated to watching these dumb videos would not have been able to see my one-mile-per-hour crawl and I would be $75 richer.

I'm sorry but this is not running a red light. Assholes that have almost slammed into me when my light is clearly green and theirs is not are the ones running a red light. The times my dad tried to claim the light was "pink", that's running a red light. Me using logic and caution is NOT running a red light.

Jerks.

Goodbye My Lover

Day: Two hundred and Sixty Two

Photo taken on Wednesday, April 20, 2011 right outside of the entrance to Avalon Commons at 945pm.

This is the last time we will ever be here. We have officially moved out of Apartment 311, scrubbing it top to bottom tonight, making sure the carpets are pristine and the countertops gleaming (very unlike how we received it when we moved in). Despite my sneer, I am going to miss this place; it's just that how Avalon went about kicking us out that's the problem here. We would have stayed even though our neighbors are crazy and the commute is reGoddamndiculous but $2587 for a two bedroom? That rent is just too damn high.

So as Sai makes his way out of the complex, we're sad. We had a lot of fun entertaining everyone in the spacious living room and we are definitely going to miss the Nerf gun wars from the loft Maeve always started when she came over. We are, however, looking forward to hosting in our new home...if we ever get a spare moment to unpack.

Le Sai

Day: Two Hundred and Nineteen

Photo taken on Tuesday, March 8, 2011 by the Zheng Garden calendar* at 904pm.

Look what I got from Fed Ex today!

Sai's registration!

Only took 9 months and two days to get here. Way to go Massapequa Nissan!



*Funny thing about this calendar: It's for a Chinese restaurant in Midlothian, VA and dad received two of these with his order in December. He brought one to the Surge, called me into his office, and handed me a box saying, "Here, you like Chinese crap."

I liked it so much I hung it on our wall. Thanks dad!

Dueling Phones

Day: One Hundred and Seventy Eight

Photo taken on Wednesday, January 26, 2011 at my desk at 326pm. (That's Valerie behind me)

I am currently on hold with the DMV on both phones. I started on the hard line 15 minutes prior to using my cell to try and reach someone on a different DMV number. Let's see who wins...

I like Nissan. I do not however, like Massapequa Nissan (with the exception of Paul's friend, Josh). Josh helped Steve and I get into very awesome leases back in 2007 and 2008. Pedey F. (my old silver Xterra) cost me only $348 a month!

Back in June I am tricked into coming in early with Pedey; then the sleazy salesmen lead me to believe that Josh no longer works there. He does, he is just off today. Once they see the mileage on a three year old truck, they are not letting me leave that lot no matter what. Pedey is in great condition and has only 27,000 miles on him! He is a fantastic vehicle and even better companion. I love him but his lease is almost up and it is time to move on.

I want a yellow Xterra this time but they no longer make them in outlandish colors and now I have boring colors to choose from. I try to leave with Pedey. They usher me into a Pathfinder and tell me to try it.

I drive around the block by myself and hop out telling them I'll try a Pathfinder this time since they told me a basic Xterra starts at $460. I am not paying that kind of money for another basic truck with no crossbars again (how the hell are you supposed to strap a surfboard to the top with no crossbars?) so I settle for a Pathfinder.

The salesmen then badger me into a Pathfinder that they can not get off the lot (Sai). Sai has great features but his biggest downfall is that he's a darker color and darker colored cars show dirt more so than lighter colors and I don't wash my trucks very often so I prefer lighter colors. I maybe wash it like once or twice a year if that. Wash my car? Isn't that what rain is for? But I digress...

So I finally accept Sai and they tell me it will just be a moment and then he's mine.

Three hours later and I'm finally losing patience. I have now been here for five hours. All I have eaten today is a granola bar and get this... I am still wearing my number from the race I participated in down the road hours ago! I am hot, sweaty, hungry, and now angry. I go up to the salesmen (one of which is stuffing his face with lunch) and ask him what the hold up is. He bullshits me and I lose it.

I stick out my hand. "I want my Xterra back. NOW."

He is up and out of that chair so fast and talking me down from storming out of there. I am fuming. He takes a few more dollars off my lease and five minutes later Sai appears.

Eight months later guess who I'm still registered to?

Pedey F.

I have been on Massapequa's case for SEVEN months to get me a registration. I can't park in certain places because I am not registered to Sai. At all. I have even called the Nissan Corporation themselves and they had an INVESTIGATION and Massepequa called me up, tried to charm me even more, promised a registration, and still has not delivered.

Guess who is about to get a pleasant phone call from Bossdad?


Oh and my cell phone won the race.

R&R

Day: Twenty Four

Photo taken on Wednesday, August 25, 2010 in our living room at 855pm (thank you florescent green numbers on the cable box!).



Since my night happens to not be going according to plan and seriously making me edgy, I have to correct it with something good. After finding two treadmills occupied as the other two are broken in our Complex’s gym, I get extremely agitated that I cannot do my required running for the day. I slam out of the cramped fitness room and stomp back up to my apartment to write the leasing office for a second time about how much their gym disappoints me. Once through with the strongly worded letter, I grab myself an IPA, put my feet up on the pirate coffee table, and turn on our awesome TV, Asuma Awesomo. Nothing calms my nerves quite like a microbrew coupled with anime. As I polish off the IPA and move on to a Troeg, my nice buzz has me forgetting all about the gym and enjoying the rest of the night.

Send in the Clowns

Day: Twenty Three

Photo taken on Tuesday, August 24, 2010 at 740am in my office chair. That is my coworker, Valerie's desk behind me.

Make-up is definitely fun to wear and play around with when you're going somewhere special like a birthday party in NYC or to a wedding or to a night club. Make-up is not fun to put on at 430 in the morning just so you can look decent at work in your dusty office with no window. I like to go for the natural look and abstain from wearing make-up, not because I think I'm naturally beautiful but because I'm just really lazy and the ten minutes it takes to put on is ten minutes I allot somewhere else.

The days when I use those “ten minutes allotted for something else” to put on make-up are usually days I hate the most. Everyone and their mother notices I have make-up on and feels the need to point it out to me or ask what the special occasion is. The special occasion, ladies and gentlemen, is that Katie is a little less lazy today. That's the special occasion.


And it's the way they point it out to me that almost makes me want to punch them in their face. Everyone gets all up in my personal space to look at this make-up and their voice goes up an octave as if they are speaking to a newborn baby or a puppy. "Oh you look so pretty!" they squeal as I shudder. They exclaim about my make-up as if this is the first time I have ever discovered it exists and why they feel the need to make doe eyes at me is nauseating and almost a little bit offensive.

So pretty much when someone compliments me on wearing make-up to the office, all they are really doing is pointing out the fact I look terribly ugly without it. To be honest with you, I find make-up to be kind of ridiculous. Think about it. Dudes don't have to wear make-up but we're required to "enhance" and when we do we put colors on our face. It just seems so silly to me and very unnatural.

Funny thing is, the first time I receive make-up it's at my neighbor, Krysten's Hair and Make-up birthday party. My goody bag consists of purple and blue eye shadows that I immediately take upstairs to my room to try in private. You would think I was testing out "looking grown-up" when in fact I use the eye shadows to create the meanest most awesome looking black eye one could ever get. I remember pulling away from the mirror and squinting like a badass back at myself muttering, "You should see the other guy."

And to me, using make-up in that sense is the most natural thing in the world.